{
  "title": "The Importance of Being Earnest — Act 1 (Excerpt)",
  "source": "Oscar Wilde, public domain",
  "text": "ALGERNON: Did you hear what I was playing, Lane?\n\nLANE: I didn't think it polite to listen, sir.\n\nALGERNON: I'm sorry for that, for your sake. I don't play accurately — any one can play accurately — but I play with wonderful expression.\n\nLANE: Yes, sir.\n\nALGERNON: And, speaking of the science of Life, have you got the cucumber sandwiches cut for Lady Bracknell?\n\nLANE: Yes, sir.\n\n(Hands them on a salver.)\n\nALGERNON: Oh! by the way, Lane, I see from your book that on Thursday night, when Lord Shoreman and Mr. Worthing were dining with me, that eight bottles of champagne are entered as having been consumed.\n\nLANE: Yes, sir; eight bottles and a pint.\n\nALGERNON: Why is it that at a bachelor's establishment the servants invariably drink the champagne? I ask merely for information.\n\nLANE: I attribute it to the superior quality of the wine, sir. I have often observed that in married households the champagne is rarely of a first-rate brand.\n\nALGERNON: Good heavens! Is marriage so demoralising as that?\n\nLANE: I believe it is a very pleasant state, sir. I have had very little experience of it myself up to the present. I have only been married once. That was in consequence of a misunderstanding between myself and a young person.\n\nALGERNON: I don't know that I am much interested in your family life, Lane.\n\nLANE: No, sir; it is not a very interesting subject. I never think of it myself.\n\nALGERNON: Very natural, I am sure. That will do, Lane, thank you.\n\nLANE: Thank you, sir."
}
